Views On Marriage and Divorce From the Orthodox Church

Views On Marriage and Divorce
From the Orthodox Church, The Catholic Church
& The Protestant Church.

To my delight I see the two oldest sister churches (Catholic and Orthodox) showing lots of progress in dealing with the very complex issue of marriage and divorce by grasping the truth that "spirit is always greater than letter". Hopefully the younger sister churches ( Protestant ) will follow the example of their elder sisters.

1. Marriage & Divorce and the Orthodox Church

2. Marriage & Divorce and the Catholic Church

3. Marriage & Divorce and the Protestant Churches

1. Marriage & Divorce and the Orthodox Church

“The Orthodox Church views marriage as a holy union between a man and a woman that is established and blessed by God. Marriage therefore is "a bond of a covenant that may not be broken," according to the words of the sacrament. And yet the Church, for certain grave reasons, permits divorce and remarriage. This seemingly paradoxical position arises out of, on the one hand, respect for biblical teaching and, on the other, compassionate concern for human weakness…because of human frailty, not all people can uphold the ideal of the permanency of marriage. And the radical principles of the Sermon on the Mount must ultimately be interpreted in the light of the Gospel, not law. In cases of moral failure, the Gospel requires that we respond to people with compassion and forgiveness, not judgment and condemnation… According to the Gospel of Matthew, divorce can occur for reasons of "unchastity" (porneia, literally "fornication"), probably referring to sexual misconduct (Mt 5:32; 19:9). Similarly, though St. Paul mentions the standard of Christ's strict teaching about marriage, nevertheless he accommodates his pastoral instructions to human weakness, including the possibility of separation and divorce (1 Cor 7:10-15)…In this spirit, the Orthodox Church has developed the principle of "economy" ( oikonomia, meaning "flexibility"), by which it permits divorce and subsequent remarriage. But it does so only in the context of individual pastoral guidance, and for grave reasons such as abandonment, permanent insanity, adultery, forcing the spouse into prostitution, or endangering the life of the spouse. In such cases, it is not that the Church "dissolves" a marriage by granting a divorce, but rather that the Church officially acknowledges and certifies that a marriage has already tragically failed…. The Church acts by God's mercy to recognize the failed marriage and to allow the possibility of another in order to forestall worse moral consequences…." ( Source: What is the Orthodox position on the indissolubility of marriage, divorce and remarriage, and why? )

Another Orthodox source cannot resist the temptation to explain why Orthodoxy has a “healthier” approach to issues like marriage and divorce than the Roman Catholic Church ( RC ). The argument appears to be sound:

“Realistically, divorces DO happen and both Orthodoxy and RCism have to deal with the reality of divorce. Neither takes a position that a person who has divorced and remarried is to be permanently barred from participation. (Would not such a position be tantamount to declaring remarriage an unforgivable and unpardonable sin?) But the manner in which they deal with the reality is very, very different… RCism views canons as 'laws' (the usual term is 'canon law'). As such, it views those laws as immutable and applicable to all. Orthodoxy, however, views canons as 'rules' or guidelines. As such, the guidelines are not immutable. Orthodoxy's primary concern is with the salvation of each person. (This is the rationale behind _economia_.).. When a person seeks to marry after a divorce, RCism believes it cannot condone 'law breaking' and thus cannot permit the act. To get around this 'law', RCism seeks to find a reason the previous marriage was never 'valid' (another legalistic concept) and can therefore be declared 'annulled' (still another legal concept). To do so, RCism engages in legalistic legerdemain… Orthodoxy recognises that people sin. Divorce is a sin. It faces it head-on, rather than pretending it doesn't exist. Permission may be procured for a second marriage, but not until after the bishop is satisfied that the person seeking to marry again was the innocent party in the divorce. (There are two explicit Scriptural grounds for divorce - adultery, and abandonment. There are also related grounds - for example, severe spousal abuse is also a ground - because it is abandonment in a particularly cruel form.... i.e. the spouse does not have the courtesy to run off, but rather beats his wife until she does.).. A recently divorced Orthodox Christian is never given permission to re-marry immediately (whereas a Roman Catholic can marry immediately after receiving an annulment). Each case is determined on a case-by-case basis (there is no set formula, the canons are used as guidelines, not laws)…. When an Orthodox Christian who has previously married is allowed to marry again, the marriage service is radically different than the service for first marriages. There are no crowns, no songs of joy, no being led around the altar. Instead, it is a distinctly penitential service. The Epistle is 1 Cor 7:8ff ('better to marry than to burn'). The service makes very clear that it is a condescension to man's weakness, to sin. The penitential service is also used when widows & widowers marry. The above cited epistle reading makes the reason for this clear” ( source: divorce in the orthodox church )

For more on the Orthodox views on marriage and divorce read:

The Orthodox Christian Marriage by Priest Alexey Young

The Orthodox Christian Marriage Part B by Priest Alexey Young

Ask Fr. Ted What is the Orthodox position on divorce and remarriage?

2. Marriage & Divorce and the Catholic Church

Even though the Catholic Church Law can allow its priests to make the lives of their parishioners difficult in regards to marriage and divorce, in recent years they have evidently matured. As is always the case, Church Law, like any other law, can be simply re-interpreted to suit the needs of the people. We thus read: “…( Catholic ) Church law states that if either of the spouses causes "serious danger of spirit or body to the other spouse or the children, or otherwise renders common life too hard," the spouses may separate (c1153.1). The Church is always concerned that human life must be protected from things that would destroy it. If the marriage relationship is threatening the life or well being one of the parties or the children, or if the continuation of the relationship has truly become intolerable, then the Church reminds us of our responsibility to protect human life in all its form, and allows for the separation of the spouses...” ( Time for An Update On Marriage, Divorce, and Nullity ( The Family Ministries Office of the Catholic Archdiocese of Chicago http://www.familyministries.org ).

The important principle that thankfully is recognised by the two largest Christian Churches is that “the letter of the law” can be laid aside and replaced by a more humane spirit of the law. The most important thing therefore is the protection of human life even if that means bending a few rules and regulations. The Catholic Church seems to agree on this and with the classic Orthodox position that “Each case is determined on a case-by-case basis (there is no set formula, the canons are used as guidelines, not laws)”

Of course, there may still be individual cases of priests that prefer to go by the letter of the law worsening thus the pain of those in their pastoral care…

For more on the Catholic Church and divorce read:

Reopening the divorce question By JOHN L. ALLEN JR. National Catholic Reporter Staff, Rome

See also: www.catholicwelfare.com.au

3. Marriage & Divorce and the Protestant Churches

Of course when we say Protestant we mean Sola Scriptura. Protestant Christians will not listen to what anyone has to say unless it is backed up by some Scripture. This leads to all sorts of problems since anything can be proven by quoting Scripture ( see my article The "Bible Only" Heresy ). I remember hearing once the hilarious story of a Baptist(?) lady that when asked by her Pastor why she left her husband and remarried, she replied that the Bible told her to do so and then went on to quote “put on the new man in Christ”.

Now we could just ignore this mistaken view of Scripture "as a blueprint on human behaviour" if people weren’t abused by it. Unfortunately many religious systems use the Bible as a tool of control. This happens a lot in regards to the issue of divorce. Because some religious leaders want at any cost to maintain a “good image” for their church, they use certain no-divorce Scriptures to force their members into staying married to abusive partners. Clearly such use of Scripture is inhuman. When the Biblical insights become Biblical absolutes the result is catastrophic.

As Robert Brinsmead explains: "We must stop using the Bible as though it were a potpourri of inerrant proof-texts by which we can bring people into bondage to our religious traditions. (For in practice the only inerrancy we ever defend is the inerrancy of our religious traditions and our way of reading the Bible.) We must no longer use the Bible as the Pharisees used the Torah when they gave it absolute and final status. Christian Biblicism is no different from Jewish legalism. It is the old way of the letter, not the new way of the Spirit (Rom. 7:6)." (Brinsmead, Robert D. "A Freedom from Biblicism" in The Christian Verdict, Essay 14, 1984. Fallbrook: Verdict Publications. Pg. 14, source: ChristInYou.net ).

Another prominent Christian writer, Karl Paul Donfried makes a similar point: "The one thing the New Testament forbids us to do is to treat it as a static document to be used as a set of proof-texts for instant solutions to complex and controversial contemporary problems. To misuse the New Testament in this way is to deny its dynamic character and to fail to realize that the Word has to be applied in a specific context. ...A static interpretation of the New Testament is dependent on a frozen Christology, one that views Jesus as limited to the first third of the first century; a dynamic interpretation of the New Testament is based on a Christology that views Jesus not only as the human manifestation of God in first-century Palestine, but also as the Risen Lord of the church present yesterday, today, and tomorrow... As the contemporary church remains obedient to the Risen Christ in her midst, the gospel can become a dynamic Word." (Karl Paul Donfried, The Dynamic Word. Harper and Row.1981. pg.199, source: ChristInYou.net ).

Rather than trying to use Scriptures as absolutes on human behaviour, it is far better to seek the wisdom that lies behind the written text. Great insights are available for those that consult the ancient writings of the Church.

For example, when Jesus is recorded as saying "You have heard that the law of Moses says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a letter of divorce.’ ³² But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” ( Matt 5:31, 32 ) we understand that he wasn’t giving an absolute commandment in some final form ( St. Paul later added more reasons – see 1 Corinthians chapter 7 - on when divorce/remarriage is acceptable ), but that He simply rebuked those smart alecs that used the Law of Moses as an excuse to get rid of their wives and marry other women whenever they pleased.

As Methodist pastor Robert G. Sinks explains, "With divorces so easily available to men, abuses were bound to occur; a woman’s position was exceedingly vulnerable. A wife might be summarily stripped of both status and security through an arbitrary decree delivered by her husband. The rigor of Jesus’ opposition to divorce can be interpreted as arising from his desire to defend women against the ravages of such dehumanizing treatment. His resistance to divorce may have been directed more at its shabby abuse than against the principle itself..." ( see A Theology of Divorce ).

Isn's all this obvious? Because every Law has its loop-holes, some smartypants used the Mosaic Law of Divorce to dump their wives the moment they got tired of them. At that time “followers of Rabbi Shammai felt adultery was the only grounds for divorce. Those who followed Rabbi Hillel accepted many reasons, including such things as poor cooking”. Fancy that, get rid of your wife because she overcooked your meal! This was quite cruel, since those divorced wives were often left exposed to shame, exploitation, ridicule and even poverty. You see, women weren’t quite emancipated back then…

Anyway I won’t even attempt to interpret Scriptures like the above. I would advise everyone however to try to see the background of such recorded sayings of Jesus. Was He giving a new Torah written in stone, or was He laying out principles ( ie don’t be an ass and treat your wife so unjustly…) by which we can become more humane? Of course Jesus and God hate divorce! This does not mean that Jesus or God hate the divorcees! Divorce is a tragedy, and like all tragedies, prevention is better than cure…

People who go through divorce suffer enough from their own personal tragedy to need further “advice” from Scripture quoting self-righteous Christians…

What they need is compassion and support, in any way possible. If we are to use Scripture let us use it to heal and not to kill…

I cannot put it any better than what the Orthodox tradition does: “The Orthodox Church views marriage as a holy union between a man and a woman that is established and blessed by God. Marriage therefore is "a bond of a covenant that may not be broken," according to the words of the sacrament. And yet the Church, for certain grave reasons, permits divorce and remarriage. This seemingly paradoxical position arises out of, on the one hand, respect for biblical teaching and, on the other, compassionate concern for human weakness…because of human frailty, not all people can uphold the ideal of the permanency of marriage. And the radical principles of the Sermon on the Mount must ultimately be interpreted in the light of the Gospel, not law. In cases of moral failure, the Gospel requires that we respond to people with compassion and forgiveness, not judgment and condemnation…”

The key is “compassionate concern for human weakness…because of human frailty, not all people can uphold the ideal of the permanency of marriage”!

As for the way we should use Scripture when dealing with divorce “the radical principles of the Sermon on the Mount must ultimately be interpreted in the light of the Gospel, not law. In cases of moral failure, the Gospel requires that we respond to people with compassion and forgiveness, not judgment and condemnation…”