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12 Steps for Ex-Members of
Controlling or Manipulative Churches or Fellowships
©1999 Eric S. Weiss

Original 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (may be copyrighted)

12 Steps for Ex-members of controlling or manipulative church or fellowship

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.

1. We admitted we had wrongly delegated our freedom and standing in Christ to leaders and movements who had, consciously or unconsciously, misused and abused our misplaced trust, with the result that we felt and operated under false guilt and condemnation and obligation.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

2. Came to believe that God Himself, and not a man (or a woman) or a movement, could restore us to spiritual health and wholeness.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

3. Made a decision to hold fast to Christ, the Head, and not turn our will and our lives over to the care of another fallible and sinful human being or a movement led by fallible and sinful human beings.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

4. Sought the Lord in prayer and in the study of the Scriptures regarding where and when and why and how we had relinquished aspects of our birthright as a child of God, what we had done that we shouldn't have done, and what we hadn't done that we should have done, including failing to speak up about our own and others' wrongs.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

5. Admitted to the Lord the exact nature of those things we had wrongfully done or accepted or allowed.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

6. Were entirely ready to have God restore us to spiritual health and wholeness.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

7. Humbly asked the Lord to restore us, and to keep us from making the same mistake(s).

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

8. Made a list of all the ways we had wrongfully surrendered our freedom in Christ, and became willing to be mature and strong in the Lord and in His mighty strength.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

9. Made direct amends, wherever possible, to persons against whom we had committed the sin of devaluing and damaging their standing in Christ, and did what was necessary to encourage them and enable them to be the sons and daughters of God that they are.

10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 

10. Continued to seek the Lord and His guidance and discernment so as to avoid being a victim, a participant, or a perpetrator of this kind of wrong, and when found guilty of doing any of these things, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation on the Lord and the Scriptures to improve our conscious relationship with God, praying for the knowledge of His will for us and for the grace and power and boldness to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

12. Having had a spiritual restoration and healing as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others who have suffered similarly, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

This document is a rough, working draft. Please e-mail me any comments or suggestions. Thanks!